Sunday, July 27, 2014

So a friend vented out me last night. At this point I don't know what to tell him.:
Live. Die. Love one another. Hate each other.
         Today listening to music, I fell into my thoughts.She said this: Why am I so different ? Memories of the          past swarm back and forth making me sad. I stopped, at the memory of a question "where do you see          yourself...years from now ?".  So I stopped remembering the past. And looked to my future. It's not              fair ! I'm not ready to grow up. Says the adult me. But my inner child says that she has to go. I don't              want to go. I can't live alone. I'll be honorably discharge from the navy. I'll buy a house or rent an                  apartment. But what's the point if you're living alone. Just breathing alone drives me insane that I must            sleep. No matter how successful I may be I will always be a failure. The true achievers are the ones              that are always happy. Whether their rachid, racist, sexist, ignorant, psychotic or sick, are the real ones          who lives a successful lives. I'll suffocate in my own loneliness. Wait, what if I'm not so difference ?                Difference may just be an allusion. No ? I've tried to fix myself, break my self. hard to say. Am I                    forever broken ? Or am I just unbreakable ? I'm gonna do it ! I'm gonna look into the mirror. I can't !!!          I'll-I'm numb. I can not feel anything. All of a sudden, it seems I've become hollow inside. The echo of          my heart beat is heard by those around me. Am I alive. Living things bleed, right ? Maybe if I just....              Okay. I think I'll go to sleep.Sorry for troubling you.

I told him good night. Sweet dreams.
                                                  -Love
                                         Thy Beloved Anonymous

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