Why so Far Away

Why ?
Why is it that everytime I find something I like
 I end up throwing it away.
 Why is it when I try to listen,
 I can not understand
 a single word ?
 Why is it that when I scream,
 it’s my own shadow
 that shuts me up ?
 Why is it so painful
To see...
 to see the world for what it truly is ?
 Why does everything in sight,
 feel so far away ? I walk, I run...
 But it’s as if I am never to move.
 As if to be caught,
Caught in a trance of illusions.
 I dream of steps,
 ladders, and bridges.
 Those of that lead
 To a place of peace.
 A place like,
Like the Elysian Fields.
 Not even.
 I just...
 I just want to live
Live in a “World Of Dreams”.
 My dreams.
 At least daydreams...
 Is there a way,
For an unnatural-unspeakable-unquestionable life...
 A life of death ?
 Living with no soul.
 Is that so wrong ?
 To live without feeling ?
 To always dream,
 when even awake.
 To “escape reality” ?

                                   -Love
                Thy Beloved Anonymous